Prove them wrong!!!

July 7th, 2016

Today I realized that I’m letting unimportant things and individuals get the best of me. I have youth living near a lake and struggling to make ends meet. Yet we’re here bitching about someone being mean to us or giving us attitude. I shouldn’t give a fuck what some think of me.

I should work extra hard to prove myself I am capable of more. Prove them wrong! Make them eat their words. I need to continue being positive and smile because I feel like it. It’s not my fault they’re so miserable with their own life they feel the need to find someone to harass and bully.

Always remember you are your own worst critic.




Be Genuine…

Do not expect others to approach you when you are a walking blob of sarcasm and just fake.

When someone says, “Good morning. How are you?”, because it’s part of a routine they normally get the common generic response, “I’m good. How are you?”. This is more than okay as long as both parties are okay with it….but when the faker begins to sarcastically complain about others not saying good morning and expecting more…its not.

After doing this ridiculous dance for over a year sometimes I come to work, smile and being to work. It doesn’t occur to me to walk into this person’s office while they are working just to repeat the same empty gesture. I’m not being rude…I’m just beginning my work…

Once in a while it would be nice for people to be genuine; really ask someone how they are or really say good morning or have a good day. You might now always have the time or the inclination to do this, but every once in a while would make a big difference.

Others might feel more comfortable to approach you and initiate communication. I think people underestimate the importance of being genuine and treating everyone with respect- you can make someones’ day a little bit better.


Healing Angel

Definition of Genuine…

  1. truly what something is said to be; authentic.
    “each book is bound in genuine leather”

Love to me…

-Love to me is knowing that there will always be someone in the world that will be there for me when I most need them.

 -Love to me is knowing that someone loves Me for being Me. 

-Love to me is being wanted for more than just my body. 

-Love to me is knowing that I’m the one that person turns to when they’re down.

 -Love to me is keeping my word and doing the best everyday to make sure I honor our commitment.

 -Love to me is knowing I will never be alone even when we’re 100s of miles away.

 -Love to me is feeling free when I wake up in the morning because to him my messy fro is one more thing to love. 

-Love to me is not feeling forgotten or left out…it’s sharing someone’s life and being a witness to their growth and maturity year after year.


Healing Angel

What ticks me off!!!

I find it very irritating when you are having a conversation with someone (any kind), your calm, trying to communicate clearly, even smile at the end just to have the other person say, “Relax, calm down it’s not that big of a deal.”

Then you combine their comment with that look on their face, that crooked smirk and glossy eyes that tell you, “oh I know exactly what I’m doing and I’m enjoying it.”

Master manipulator Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

It’s almost as irritating when someone says, “Woman!!! Stop being so hysterical!” or “That time of the month again huh?”

Sometimes I do reconsider what I just said, to make sure I was clear and sometimes yes I probably could have been more clear. On the other hand, there are times when you know you were clear and nothing you said was irrational, exaggerated, hysterical, or dramatic and you still get the same results.

To me, that just a sign that the person you are communicating with has no respect for you in that moment. Maybe not over all, but definitely in that conversation or about the topic you’re discussing. Maybe they’re just trying to pull the attention away from something they don’t want you to know.

Whatever the reason, does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with these moments?

Why do we love what hurts?

Oh us humans always wanting what we can have or what hurts…


Why is it that we keep going back to things that hurt? Is this just a part of life?

Or maybe it hurts so much because it means more than anything?


Not sure…all I know is…I sometimes wonder and ask myself why we put ourself through such torcher? There’s so many options out there and we continue to stay in situations that make us cry more than laugh. We choose to remain in situations that limit what you experience in life and make you change who you are. All to be with the person you truly love. Is love that important? Is it so important that you leave a part of who you are or who you want to be…just to have a little piece of that oh so coveted love.


Maybe motown had it right….



Am I doing the right thing?

Sometimes I wonder whether or not I’m equipped to make the right choice.

I’m at a crossroad in my life (yes that’s so cheesy), but it’s true. What I decide to do at this point of my life will affect me for the rest of it.

What should I do to help myself make a choice that will make me happy?

I’m scared and worried sick because I feel like I’m running out of time to get my shit together.

I’m 30 years old, stuck in a dead end job, haven’t been able to see my degree because I owe the university money, romance is in and out of the picture, it’s hard for me to make friends, the friends I do have are either across the state/country or too busy with their sucky life to be an actual friend, I’m an outcast in my own family (if they don’t love me for me who will?), and I’m renting a room in a house full of strangers…….the list goes on and on and on and on….you get the point.

Something has to change or I will officially throw in the towel. I can’t live in the middle anymore; it either is or it’s not!!! PERIOD!!! I need to start somewhere so for now, I will focus on my career and paying off my debt to the university so I can finally get my degree in hand.

I really hope this negative gut feeling goes away; its making me question everything I do. Everything except this post…maybe I should write more. Who reads this anyways?

Worthless and scared…

During my journey to having a better life I’ve encountered moments where I just don’t feel good enough. It’s pretty debilitating to feel worthless-especially in the eyes of someone you love.

All you want is for this person to love you just as you are. Sure we can make improvements, for example I want to gain confidence, communicate better, and be more active. We can adapt and make these improvements that will in turn help us form healthier relationships. However, there are personality traits that we might have a difficult time getting rid of.

Lets say we succeed and we are able to change some core personality aspects. Inside you will always know that is not really you. You can act okay in front of the person you’re trying to impress but when he/she turns around your heartaches and a deep melancholy takes over.

It’s very sad to live like this. Instead of trying to change who you are, maybe it would be better to find someone who loves all of you. No need to feel compared or less than those around you to keep someone’s attention.


Before you make that final decision however, make sure this person really does want you to change too many things about yourself. There’s a possibility that your personality is not the issue. It can be your behavior, mood, or they way you treat that person. Having an open conversation as to why this loved one is pushing you away might give you a better perspective and help you make the decision that is right for you.